Dear People of Christ Church,
Tuesday, June 2, I hope you’ll join me for our “end of life issues” conversation. This is the third or fourth year our parish has offered this time, and there just aren’t enough words to say how important it is to grapple with these hard questions.
I write about death in this space a lot. I write about death when someone beloved to our congregation dies. I write about death when we host these conversations every year. I write about death as we get close to Thanksgiving—having everyone at the table is a good time to talk about end of life questions. I think about death a lot. But thinking and writing about death a lot isn’t the same as being okay with it.
And that’s why we have to practice.
That’s why we have to talk about death again and again and again, until we can get it from our brains into our hearts and back to our brains that death is part of life, that we have reason to trust God and trust those we love, that the “One who raised Jesus Christ from the dead will also give new live to our mortal bodies” through God’s indwelling Spirit (BCP 501). God is love. The love that makes us grieve for one another is the same love that gives us everlasting life. Our love for each other and the love of God are of one piece. God’s love weaves in and out of our own lives in each of us.
For those of us who are left behind, though, death is terrifying. We know who we are in relation to those around us. Our parents, friends, spouses, children—they help make us who we are. We fear not having those we love. Who will we be without them? So it seems easier to save up the hard conversations for later. It seems like maybe if we don’t talk about death, it won’t be real. But our denial of death doesn’t make it less real. The less we talk about what we want for the end of our life, the harder it is to face when it actually happens.
What kind of care do you want in case of a traumatic injury? Under what circumstances would you want to initiate a “Do Not Resuscitate” order? Is it important is to you to be at home when you die? What hymns do you want to be sung at your funeral? Do you want someone to offer a eulogy about you? What Gospel do you want to have preached? Are you a “many dwelling places” kind of person, or do you go for the beatitudes? Have you filled out a health care proxy form, and does your doctor have a copy? Would you consider leaving a gift to your church, or other organizations that are important to you, in your will?
The Apostle Paul wrote to the church in Rome,
I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8: 38-39)
Thanks be to God!
For our end of life issues “workbook,” see A Christian Prepares for Death
Blessings,
Sara+
Friday, May 29, 2015
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
Thinking Like a Prophet
Dear People of Christ Church,
This week I was out of the office for a few days at the Making Excellent Disciples conference, a program of the diocese. The aim is to support mentoring and leadership training for newer ordinands, and I’ve had the privilege to journey as a mentor to Jack Clark, the assistant rector in Sudbury, over the last two years. One of our workshops today was on how the church is called to be prophetic. What does it mean to tell the truth when truth telling virtually ensures not everyone will be on board with you? How do you make room for conversation and mutual discernment? As we sat down one of the participants asked where our stones were—I thought he was talking about some crafty project with rocks or something—but he was really joking about whether we were going to stone our presenter, a fate met by many a prophet either literally or metaphorically.
We like when truth is spoken to power…as long as it’s our truth. There is always a fine line in finding the right way to bring politics in. Anything that has to do with power is political—it’s just part of life. On the one hand, if you sincerely want to lead on an issue, you have to actually think about how effective your proclamation is going to be. On the other—sometimes you just need to SPEAK and let the chips fall where they may. Jumping into the pulpit or your staff meeting and letting loose on what you think about Guantanamo, however, just may not be a great strategy to try to advocate for recognizing the dignity of every human being. Silence, though, also doesn’t seem to be the answer. Jesus had plenty to say about who had what and how people cared for each other in in real life—real cities and communities and families—not just in the abstract. He taught in a world not so different from our own, in that respect.
Our workshop leader on prophetic ministry was Cameron Partridge, a good friend of mine and, though he wouldn’t claim the mantle of “prophet” for himself, he has had a goodly prophetic ministry for our diocese and the wider church in advocacy for the concerns and inclusion of transgendered people. Cameron and I were ordained together in 2004, he the first trans man to be a priest in our diocese—Christ Churchers may also remember him as being here for Adah’s baptism as her godfather. He’s also filled in for me on a Sunday at least once or twice! Part of our conversation included a reading of the book of the prophet Jonah. If you haven’t read the book of Jonah lately, please do yourself a favor now and read the whole thing (it will take five minutes). One of the more resonant things about Jonah is that, while he grudgingly calls Nineveh to repentance, he totally doesn’t want to. Jonah argues with God, throwing tantrum after tantrum. But God stays in relationship, loves Jonah, and loves Nineveh. They work it out. Once he’s called to be a prophet, Jonah doesn’t straighten up and obey God—he wrestles and argues and wonders and sighs. He’s real. He trusts God with his whole self, and God trusts him. I think the wholehearted relationship between God and Jonah is a good model for what it is for parish ministry to grapple with the prophetic. They have a real relationship. They listen to each other. They’re safe.
Who challenges you in your life to think like a prophet? When have you had the courage to speak? Where do you think this community is called to do that work?
Blessings,
Sara+
This week I was out of the office for a few days at the Making Excellent Disciples conference, a program of the diocese. The aim is to support mentoring and leadership training for newer ordinands, and I’ve had the privilege to journey as a mentor to Jack Clark, the assistant rector in Sudbury, over the last two years. One of our workshops today was on how the church is called to be prophetic. What does it mean to tell the truth when truth telling virtually ensures not everyone will be on board with you? How do you make room for conversation and mutual discernment? As we sat down one of the participants asked where our stones were—I thought he was talking about some crafty project with rocks or something—but he was really joking about whether we were going to stone our presenter, a fate met by many a prophet either literally or metaphorically.
We like when truth is spoken to power…as long as it’s our truth. There is always a fine line in finding the right way to bring politics in. Anything that has to do with power is political—it’s just part of life. On the one hand, if you sincerely want to lead on an issue, you have to actually think about how effective your proclamation is going to be. On the other—sometimes you just need to SPEAK and let the chips fall where they may. Jumping into the pulpit or your staff meeting and letting loose on what you think about Guantanamo, however, just may not be a great strategy to try to advocate for recognizing the dignity of every human being. Silence, though, also doesn’t seem to be the answer. Jesus had plenty to say about who had what and how people cared for each other in in real life—real cities and communities and families—not just in the abstract. He taught in a world not so different from our own, in that respect.
Our workshop leader on prophetic ministry was Cameron Partridge, a good friend of mine and, though he wouldn’t claim the mantle of “prophet” for himself, he has had a goodly prophetic ministry for our diocese and the wider church in advocacy for the concerns and inclusion of transgendered people. Cameron and I were ordained together in 2004, he the first trans man to be a priest in our diocese—Christ Churchers may also remember him as being here for Adah’s baptism as her godfather. He’s also filled in for me on a Sunday at least once or twice! Part of our conversation included a reading of the book of the prophet Jonah. If you haven’t read the book of Jonah lately, please do yourself a favor now and read the whole thing (it will take five minutes). One of the more resonant things about Jonah is that, while he grudgingly calls Nineveh to repentance, he totally doesn’t want to. Jonah argues with God, throwing tantrum after tantrum. But God stays in relationship, loves Jonah, and loves Nineveh. They work it out. Once he’s called to be a prophet, Jonah doesn’t straighten up and obey God—he wrestles and argues and wonders and sighs. He’s real. He trusts God with his whole self, and God trusts him. I think the wholehearted relationship between God and Jonah is a good model for what it is for parish ministry to grapple with the prophetic. They have a real relationship. They listen to each other. They’re safe.
Who challenges you in your life to think like a prophet? When have you had the courage to speak? Where do you think this community is called to do that work?
Blessings,
Sara+
Friday, May 15, 2015
Stillness in the Whirlwind
Dear People of Christ Church,
After confirmation, parish arts day, the post office food drive, the Mother’s Day Walk, and whatever else I’ve forgotten that’s happened in the first two weeks of May, finally it feels like we aren’t sprinting toward anything.
(There is planting day on Saturday, but if the thing that’s making your life feel busy is a morning spent gardening, you have it pretty good).
ALL THE THINGS…where is there stillness?
Depends on what you mean by stillness. Longing for rest is one thing—too many Saturdays working makes Sara a dull girl—but stillness is different from inactivity. Both are necessary at ties, but stillness comes when the focus is on God, not on the outcome. Whatever brilliant or important thing that we think is so important is secondary to that faithfulness. Stillness comes when our interior lives aren’t determined by our external circumstances. That’s not to say that our external circumstances don’t matter—you have only to spend some time with the photos from the Day Center exhibit currently in the parish hall to know that material and spiritual needs are linked. But ultimate reconciliation isn’t in having the biggest team for the Peace Walk or the coolest Children’s Play Garden. It’s in how we are listening for where God finds us in community. We are called to be faithful to God’s nudging toward hospitality and solidarity—not to focus on the task to the exclusion of the call.
I imagine that our contemporary striving for stillness and comfort is not so different from the experience of the earliest church. Their anxieties were different, but there was still anxiety. Today is the feast of the Ascension—the church’s time of marking the end of Jesus’ resurrection appearances to his disciples. The Gospel story is a bit fantastical—he is raised up into the clouds out of sight—and while I believe the experience of the disciples, I’m not sure of what to make of the literalness of it—science and whatnot—but what I DO really get is the sense of uncertainty and fear that the remaining community felt. Living in the midst of uncertainty is hard. Chaos is hard. Grieving—hard. One moment the disciples knew Jesus to be there, and then he was gone.
Liturgically/poetically/metaphorically in the church we observe the ten days between Ascension (today) and Pentecost (May 24) as the time between Jesus ending his resurrection appearances, returning to the heart of God, and sending the Holy Spirit. Those tongues of fire at the wild parties of Pentecost were the promise of God’s active working in our midst for all time, sent by Jesus in God our Creator. In this time between, the absence is the presence; it’s paradoxically in this dark time that the light is being born in our hearts. I’m in the middle of reading Cheryl Strayed’s book, Wild, in which she chronicles her hundreds of miles hike on the Pacific Coast Trail from southern California to Oregon. After her life falls apart, she is reassembled on the trail, the exhaustion and pain giving way to grace and transformation. She didn’t make peace with her mother’s death because she ate dehydrated food and walked alone for four months and her feet were covered in blisters. But it was still in the midst of that adversity and loneliness that the peace came, finding herself near the end emptied of everything but gratitude to have arrived (274). Absence was presence. Even unable to see God or know God, yet God is present. It’s the stillness in the whirlwind, the intimation of rest even in the midst of striving and action. Not because we’ve fixed or changed what’s outside ourselves, but because we’ve listened to our God who whispers.
Where is your soul? Where have you found a moment of peace?
Blessings,
Sara+
After confirmation, parish arts day, the post office food drive, the Mother’s Day Walk, and whatever else I’ve forgotten that’s happened in the first two weeks of May, finally it feels like we aren’t sprinting toward anything.
(There is planting day on Saturday, but if the thing that’s making your life feel busy is a morning spent gardening, you have it pretty good).
ALL THE THINGS…where is there stillness?
Depends on what you mean by stillness. Longing for rest is one thing—too many Saturdays working makes Sara a dull girl—but stillness is different from inactivity. Both are necessary at ties, but stillness comes when the focus is on God, not on the outcome. Whatever brilliant or important thing that we think is so important is secondary to that faithfulness. Stillness comes when our interior lives aren’t determined by our external circumstances. That’s not to say that our external circumstances don’t matter—you have only to spend some time with the photos from the Day Center exhibit currently in the parish hall to know that material and spiritual needs are linked. But ultimate reconciliation isn’t in having the biggest team for the Peace Walk or the coolest Children’s Play Garden. It’s in how we are listening for where God finds us in community. We are called to be faithful to God’s nudging toward hospitality and solidarity—not to focus on the task to the exclusion of the call.
I imagine that our contemporary striving for stillness and comfort is not so different from the experience of the earliest church. Their anxieties were different, but there was still anxiety. Today is the feast of the Ascension—the church’s time of marking the end of Jesus’ resurrection appearances to his disciples. The Gospel story is a bit fantastical—he is raised up into the clouds out of sight—and while I believe the experience of the disciples, I’m not sure of what to make of the literalness of it—science and whatnot—but what I DO really get is the sense of uncertainty and fear that the remaining community felt. Living in the midst of uncertainty is hard. Chaos is hard. Grieving—hard. One moment the disciples knew Jesus to be there, and then he was gone.
Liturgically/poetically/metaphorically in the church we observe the ten days between Ascension (today) and Pentecost (May 24) as the time between Jesus ending his resurrection appearances, returning to the heart of God, and sending the Holy Spirit. Those tongues of fire at the wild parties of Pentecost were the promise of God’s active working in our midst for all time, sent by Jesus in God our Creator. In this time between, the absence is the presence; it’s paradoxically in this dark time that the light is being born in our hearts. I’m in the middle of reading Cheryl Strayed’s book, Wild, in which she chronicles her hundreds of miles hike on the Pacific Coast Trail from southern California to Oregon. After her life falls apart, she is reassembled on the trail, the exhaustion and pain giving way to grace and transformation. She didn’t make peace with her mother’s death because she ate dehydrated food and walked alone for four months and her feet were covered in blisters. But it was still in the midst of that adversity and loneliness that the peace came, finding herself near the end emptied of everything but gratitude to have arrived (274). Absence was presence. Even unable to see God or know God, yet God is present. It’s the stillness in the whirlwind, the intimation of rest even in the midst of striving and action. Not because we’ve fixed or changed what’s outside ourselves, but because we’ve listened to our God who whispers.
Where is your soul? Where have you found a moment of peace?
Blessings,
Sara+
Friday, May 8, 2015
Mother's Day Walk for Peace
Dear People of Christ Church,
So many great things going on this week!
Friday night, please join us for our parish arts and talent show. There will be everything from bellydancing to singing to poetry about cats, along with pieces from the Community Day Center’s Photo Exhibit, “Homelessness Through Our Eyes.” And there will be pizza.
Saturday, come over to help with Post Office food drive. The USPS’s annual “Stamp Out Hunger” event allows you to put food out at your mailbox to be delivered to local food pantries, and our own “Grandma’s Pantry” is a grateful recipient. Often times the haul is very generous, which means we need lots of help. Please be in touch with Sally Lobo if you can make it.
Sunday, please join Christ Churchers for the Mother’s Day Walk for Peace. In the last few years we’ve had 15-20 participants—let’s make it 30 this year! Meet at 7:30 am near the B Peace for Jorge tent on the Common. The Walk benefits the Louis Brown Peace Institute, founded by Tina Chery after her son Louis Brown was murdered. Money from the walk this year will go for a new grant program for advocacy groups and a new fund for those who need assistance with burial costs when their loved ones die by violence. We’ll be walking as part of the B Peace for Jorge team, which convened under the leadership of Bishop Tom Shaw after Jorge Fuentes, a counselor for St Stephen’s B Safe Program (for which we will volunteer later this summer!), was shot walking his dog. The year after Jorge’s death, Bishop Tom did the walk and celebrated the Eucharist at the end, a tradition Bishop Gates will continue this year.
With a lot of “walk” events—for breast cancer, or hunger, or suicide—the walking can feel sort of secondary. They are an important occasion to raise awareness—to turn our attention and offer support. For several years my kids did the Walk for Hunger with Grace Medford, and I know it gave them a tangible sense of focusing their attention on those who have less than they. But there is no direct correlation between putting one foot in front of the other and ending hunger. It’s a means, not an end.
The thing about the Peace Walk that is so compelling to me is that this is a time when the walking actually DOES make a difference. Many of us never have occasion to visit places we hear about on the news where yet another young person has been shot. We aren’t confronted with the reality of not allowing our kids to play outside for fear of random gunfire. The news tells us about these crimes, and maybe we pay attention and maybe we don’t—but we forget that there are communities and churches and schools full of kids and moms and dads and teenagers who walk their dogs who confront this as reality all the time. But illegal guns are a problem for everyone. Racism is a problem for everyone. 500 people from the suburbs descending on Dorchester once a year doesn’t change much. But bit by bit, it might change us. Maybe you have a conversation with someone or maybe you see racism in a different light. Maybe just one piece of the puzzle of race and inequality snaps in place. There’s hope.
This year, it feels especially important—this year’s march isn’t tied specifically to the Black Lives Matter Movement, but of course they are related. Police officers will be stationed throughout the walk to help guide walkers—we are grateful to them! But it’s the same racism that has led many police officers to immediately find people of color suspect. It’s the same racism that still lingers as suspicion and mistrust. It’s the same racism that infects our justice systems, our schools, and our streets. One poisonous well, many different outflows. Sunday, we will be one people of God, trying to find our way back to each other and to the grace of Christ that makes us all whole.
Blessings,
Sara+
So many great things going on this week!
Friday night, please join us for our parish arts and talent show. There will be everything from bellydancing to singing to poetry about cats, along with pieces from the Community Day Center’s Photo Exhibit, “Homelessness Through Our Eyes.” And there will be pizza.
Saturday, come over to help with Post Office food drive. The USPS’s annual “Stamp Out Hunger” event allows you to put food out at your mailbox to be delivered to local food pantries, and our own “Grandma’s Pantry” is a grateful recipient. Often times the haul is very generous, which means we need lots of help. Please be in touch with Sally Lobo if you can make it.
Sunday, please join Christ Churchers for the Mother’s Day Walk for Peace. In the last few years we’ve had 15-20 participants—let’s make it 30 this year! Meet at 7:30 am near the B Peace for Jorge tent on the Common. The Walk benefits the Louis Brown Peace Institute, founded by Tina Chery after her son Louis Brown was murdered. Money from the walk this year will go for a new grant program for advocacy groups and a new fund for those who need assistance with burial costs when their loved ones die by violence. We’ll be walking as part of the B Peace for Jorge team, which convened under the leadership of Bishop Tom Shaw after Jorge Fuentes, a counselor for St Stephen’s B Safe Program (for which we will volunteer later this summer!), was shot walking his dog. The year after Jorge’s death, Bishop Tom did the walk and celebrated the Eucharist at the end, a tradition Bishop Gates will continue this year.
With a lot of “walk” events—for breast cancer, or hunger, or suicide—the walking can feel sort of secondary. They are an important occasion to raise awareness—to turn our attention and offer support. For several years my kids did the Walk for Hunger with Grace Medford, and I know it gave them a tangible sense of focusing their attention on those who have less than they. But there is no direct correlation between putting one foot in front of the other and ending hunger. It’s a means, not an end.
The thing about the Peace Walk that is so compelling to me is that this is a time when the walking actually DOES make a difference. Many of us never have occasion to visit places we hear about on the news where yet another young person has been shot. We aren’t confronted with the reality of not allowing our kids to play outside for fear of random gunfire. The news tells us about these crimes, and maybe we pay attention and maybe we don’t—but we forget that there are communities and churches and schools full of kids and moms and dads and teenagers who walk their dogs who confront this as reality all the time. But illegal guns are a problem for everyone. Racism is a problem for everyone. 500 people from the suburbs descending on Dorchester once a year doesn’t change much. But bit by bit, it might change us. Maybe you have a conversation with someone or maybe you see racism in a different light. Maybe just one piece of the puzzle of race and inequality snaps in place. There’s hope.
This year, it feels especially important—this year’s march isn’t tied specifically to the Black Lives Matter Movement, but of course they are related. Police officers will be stationed throughout the walk to help guide walkers—we are grateful to them! But it’s the same racism that has led many police officers to immediately find people of color suspect. It’s the same racism that still lingers as suspicion and mistrust. It’s the same racism that infects our justice systems, our schools, and our streets. One poisonous well, many different outflows. Sunday, we will be one people of God, trying to find our way back to each other and to the grace of Christ that makes us all whole.
Blessings,
Sara+
Friday, May 1, 2015
Jesus the Good Shepherd
With so many occasions for lament this week, I’m feeling drawn back toward the good shepherd we heard about in our readings and psalm last week. I admitted it’s not been my favorite image, but when in the valley of the shadow of death, the table set before the enemy is something we need again and again. This week, I want to pass along a poem I encountered from a newly discovered blog, that of Andrew King, a Canadian Anglican layman. Fast-food worker by day, poet by night, he’s set himself the goal of writing for each week of the church year. I’m grateful.
We need the shepherding of Jesus. For Paula Tatarunis, whose health has taken a turn for the worse and for her husband Darrell, who has hard decisions to make. For Nepal, for towns so remote it takes two days for rescuers to get there to assess the damage, much less offer aid. For Baltimore, for an end to racism in this country. I don’t usually watch much broadcast news, but this week I caught some of the Baltimore coverage on CNN—as they showed two single scenes of property destruction on a continuous loop. How many more people walked peacefully? How many more people cleaned up the next day? And how do the media talk about incidents like that when perpetrated by, for example, white college students? Nobody says “thug” or “riot” at those times. The valley of the shadow of death for all of us in this country is the legacy of racism that sees the bodies of people of color as less-than. As Andrew King writes, “may the cup of joy overflow for those whose suffering has been their drink.” Amen.
PRAYER TO THE SHEPHERD
(Psalm 23, John 10: 11-18)
O Lord our Shepherd,
may your flock not want
in the refugee camps
of Yarmouk, of Darfur, of Dadaab.
May life-giving pastures of nourishment be theirs
in Sudan, in Niger, in Chad.
May waters of peacefulness and healing flow
in Somalia, in Syria, in Ukraine.
And may souls be restored in our own cities and towns
where violence and hunger still live.
O Lord our Shepherd,
death shadows the valleys
and the houses and hills of our lands.
May the strength of your grace and
the assurance of your love
ever with us and ever embracing,
bring comfort to the grieving and alone.
May there be a table of reconciliation prepared
where enemies may sit down in peace
and may the cup of joy overflow for those
whose suffering has been their drink.
Let your goodness and mercy attend your flock,
O Shepherd, our Lord,
and may all your flock dwell
in the unity of your love
as long as life endures.
We need the shepherding of Jesus. For Paula Tatarunis, whose health has taken a turn for the worse and for her husband Darrell, who has hard decisions to make. For Nepal, for towns so remote it takes two days for rescuers to get there to assess the damage, much less offer aid. For Baltimore, for an end to racism in this country. I don’t usually watch much broadcast news, but this week I caught some of the Baltimore coverage on CNN—as they showed two single scenes of property destruction on a continuous loop. How many more people walked peacefully? How many more people cleaned up the next day? And how do the media talk about incidents like that when perpetrated by, for example, white college students? Nobody says “thug” or “riot” at those times. The valley of the shadow of death for all of us in this country is the legacy of racism that sees the bodies of people of color as less-than. As Andrew King writes, “may the cup of joy overflow for those whose suffering has been their drink.” Amen.
PRAYER TO THE SHEPHERD
(Psalm 23, John 10: 11-18)
O Lord our Shepherd,
may your flock not want
in the refugee camps
of Yarmouk, of Darfur, of Dadaab.
May life-giving pastures of nourishment be theirs
in Sudan, in Niger, in Chad.
May waters of peacefulness and healing flow
in Somalia, in Syria, in Ukraine.
And may souls be restored in our own cities and towns
where violence and hunger still live.
O Lord our Shepherd,
death shadows the valleys
and the houses and hills of our lands.
May the strength of your grace and
the assurance of your love
ever with us and ever embracing,
bring comfort to the grieving and alone.
May there be a table of reconciliation prepared
where enemies may sit down in peace
and may the cup of joy overflow for those
whose suffering has been their drink.
Let your goodness and mercy attend your flock,
O Shepherd, our Lord,
and may all your flock dwell
in the unity of your love
as long as life endures.
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